Cliché Road Trip Blog Name (2024)

I’ve arrived in Colorado! Staying in Boulder tonight so I can get an early start at Rocky Mountain National Park for the day.

Along the road, not much happened. I stopped at a ghost town near Moab and immediately felt weird and guilty about it, especially since there were still some people living just down the road from it. It was mostly wrecked cars and small, collapsed wooden houses.

The scenery changed from red desert to green mountains. Leaves are just starting to change in Colorado, so I’m excited to see how they’re doing at a bit of a higher altitude tomorrow in the park.

My place for tonight is a couch I reserved off AirBnB in the condo of a VERY high-energy dude who’s also hosting like five other people in assorted parts of his apartment.The host is super nice and greeted me with chocolate, which is always a plus, but holy sh*t does he have a lot of energy and I’m so not in the mood for energy and chatting after driving all day. I can’t even cough once without him asking if I need more water. It’s stressful to be so intensely hosted.

There is apparently going to be a guy sleeping on the floor nearby which is not what I signed up for. Not thrilled by this development. Apparently two guests decided to stay an extra night, so everyone else got shifted. It’s $25 and I’m here approximately 14 hours total, so I’m going to just let it go, let it gooooo. No more shared space bookings, especially if it only saves me $25. Private rooms and whole places only.

Update several hours later, post-ice cream, sh*t HAS GONE DOWN.

I arrived home to three dudes sitting on my couch, where I’m sleeping. Two of them are“relationship coaches,” and they were in the middle of a conversation about spirituality and whether or not one of the guys should pursue his STUDENT. They brought me into the conversation because I was sitting on my couch waiting for them to leave. So this guy feels that“it’s awkward if he hides his feelings from this woman...he has abandonment issues, and this causes him to feel strongly for this woman.” Et cetera. Side note, he’s also apparently attracted to a second student but she’s apparently too clearly interested in him so he has no issue there. But god forbid he not pursue a second student anyway, right?

I listened. I asked a bit about their whole spirituality conference and relationship coaching. Then they drew me into the conversation and asked what I thought, and I mentioned the awkwardness of the power dynamic, with him being the teacher attracted to a student who is paying for the class he teaches.

We argued in a calm, spiritual tone, and I, the only woman in the room, pointed out that he was putting her in a really strange position since she paid money to be his student and knowing that her teacher is trying to bang her may put her in the position of having to decide between continuing the course and feeling weird around him or leaving it and losing time and money. I said that speaking from my own experience, I would feel uncomfortable being the student of someone who was trying to get with me even if I was interested and I would try not to be his student if I was interested. And if he’s really interested in her, he can wait for the course to be over in 9 months and pursue her then and there’s no issue.

Him: I believe not telling your truth, not being honest causes stress, and stress kills.

Me: But what if your truth causes HER stress? Isn’t that unfair to force her to confront these issues if she doesn’t have any say in the matter?

Him: Well, those are her feelings and issues to deal with. I need to share my truth, and any reaction she has is her responsibility, not mine.

Me: Okay. I understand that sharing your truth, expressing yourself, will make you feel less stressed. But if she is stressed, isn’t is just kind of like you’re handing off your own stress and telling her to deal with it for you?

Him: No, because my stress isn’t her stress.

Me: It is if you make it hers. Hypothetically speaking, she wasn’t stressed before you told her.

Him: No, that’s her stress. I am not responsible for her reaction. She can choose not to be stressed.

I CANNOT HANDLE THESE DUDES. It was like sitting inside of Tinder. Once I gave too much fight, they decided my contributions were irrelevant and no longer addressed me. The third dude in the room, not a relationship coach, spoke up to say that listening to this conversation made him feel healed and accepted, and he feels honored to have been a part of it. I cannot invent this sh*t.

And then the dude who is conflicted about whether or not he should hit on his student turned to me to ask why I don’t understand his position and why he HAS to share his feelings with his student. And we argued more intensely. And when I repeatedly tried to make him understand that the power dynamic, the fact that he’s her teacher and she’s paying him to teach her and would have to consider dropping out of the course if she felt uncomfortable, he told me I didn’t understand.

I told him there’s a line between being her friend and putting her in a weird position and it’s easy to just be friends, and he said he can’t possibly know where that line is. I asked if he had friends, he told me I was being sarcastic and attacking him. I asked how he treats his friends, he said he can tell them anything therefore he can tell his student he is interested in her.

I asked him if I was really having a #MeToo conversation right now. He said I was not understanding and he felt this was my own issues and background making me react in this way. (Side note, NO sh*t. I’M A WOMAN. ALL WOMEN SHOULD REACT THIS WAY.)

He’s known me for 15 minutes at this point.

Finally, I looked at him and said,“This conversation is making me very anxious, and I’d really like to sleep now so please get off my bed.” He informed me that he was also anxious because of me. I guess we both spoke our f*cking truths.

Men are trash and that was some exhausting nonsense. Everyone, please take responsibility for your effect on others instead of acting like it’s their fault if they get upset when you act like an asshole. It’s that simple. Be responsible for your sh*t. Be respectful. Don’t use a sh*tty past to justify your sh*tty behavior toward others in the present. And as a bonus, do your best to understand power dynamics. I’m here to help if you ever feel uncertain about where the god damn line is.

Here’s some f*cking scenery from Boulder. Goodnight.

Cliché Road Trip Blog Name (2024)


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